Sorry

When I look at myself back then, I found out that I changed a lot. Dulu, selalu sangat sakitkan hati orang. Whatever I do, the only thing matters is myself. I didn't think bout other people. Yet, they were so kind to me. Then even take care of me until now, MasyaAllah. I remember how I left Mirfa alone, just to be in other group. That time I was in Form 4. Lepas tu, jangan cakap lah pasal result. Boleh tahan teruk jugak. Naik Form 5 je, baru kesedaran tu datang, baru rasa nak berubah. Then, I came back to Mirfa. MasyaAllah. She was so kind hearted to accept me as her bestfriend. Again. She helped me a lot in studies. Sampai lah aku dapat no 4 in Form 5 ranking. Every exam/test. She's the one yang tak boleh tengok aku down sikit pon. She knows me very well.

Bila aku dah masuk asasi Palam, baru aku ubah yang lain-lain tu. Dari cara berpakaian sampai lah gaya percakapan. So bermula lah kehidupan aku yang lain macam sikit. I hide my true self. Untuk kebaikan bersama. Dulu kalau aku tak suka apa orang tu buat, I will say it right in front of her/his face. Kejam kan? Same goes when I hate her/him. Hahahahahaha (ketawa jahat). 

Sekarang, I'm totally different. Lebih suka simpan, kumpul dalam hati. Sometimes, I feel so fake but what can I do? I can't do anything. Banyak hati kena jaga. Tapi kadang-kadang terlepas jugak. I can't deal with people yang suka hati dia je nak pressure orang. Confirm aku termarah dia. Even my mak knows this. That's why she never force or pressure me in studies or anything. Because I've promised her that I will do my best and make her proud one fine day. Dah cukup.

But once in a while, I want other people to know me too. Pelik jugak bila Kak Titin or mak cerita bout my true self to my friends, dia orang tak percaya. Eh percaya je lah. Aku tak tunjuk sebab ada sebab. I only become the real Norehan when I'm with my family or Mirfa. Because they accept me for who I am. Even I know sometimes, dia orang menyampah dengan aku. Tapi aku okay je, haha.

So here I would like to merayu mintak maaf to all people. Sorry for my wrongdoings. To those yang aku ada hutang tu, kalau ingat, feel free to ask me. Kalau lupa halalkan please. Hutang duit lah kan. Hutang budi tu terpaksa lah aku bawak mati. Hutang darah? Hutang nyawa? Gila kau nak claim! Mohon jangan kejam. Okay, Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha to all muslims. Esok raya, esok jugak lah balik Parit Raja. Eh, rasa nak carut je. Okay fine. Assalamualaikum.